CONTACTING YOUR DONOR

                                                     
  
Many transplanted patients often want  to find out a little about their donor. As with all donors, strict confidentiality will be maintained. Upon requesting the information you can find out  your donor's age, Male/Female and their cause of death and sometimes which part of the country.
Most families of donors are extremely grateful to receive a letter from the recipient (or a member of their family ). Your transplant co-ordinator will be very happy to answer any questions you may have.The donors family is contacted by the co-ordinators  to see if this will be welcomed, if everything is satisfactory you can then write to your donor family.This letter or card is then sent to the co-ordinators and will be checked to see if it is acceptable before being forwarded on to the donor family. 
Any correspondence either to or from the donor family must be forwarded by the co-ordinators as no addresses or telephone details etc will be given due to confidentiallity.
All letters should be sent to your recipient transplant coordinator for forwarding to the donor family. This is a confidential service.
Please remember that replies, if any may take some time due to the individual grieving patterns of the donor family.

The decision to write to your donor's family is a personal choice. It may be the most difficult letter you have had to write. However it may help you to know that many donor families express appreciation for cards and letters they receive from recipients and their families.
If you do decide to write a letter or card the following suggestions may help you get started.

Will I hear from the donor's family?

You may or may not hear from your donor's family. Some donor families may feel that writing about their loved one and their decision to donate helps them in their grieving process. Others choose not to write to the organ recipient.
If the donor family chooses to respond, they will send a letter to the Transplant Co-ordinators who will then forward the response to you.

• Use your first name
• Mention your family or friends
• Mention your hobbies or interests
• Write about how your lifestyle was affected by organ failure and its treatment
• Say how long you waited for your transplant
• Explain the benefit of transplantation for your lifestyle and health
• Show how much this means to you and your family or friends
• You may wish to thank your donor's family for the unique gift they have given you
• Try to keep the language simple and sincere
• Be aware that your donor's family freely decided to donate their loved one's organs to benefit others.

                        INTRODUCTIONS TO START LETTERS OFF

1. I will never be able to tell you all the feelings that I have for  your family,but i want you to know how grateful I am, etc

2. I would like to thank you for your generosity in giving a part of your loved one to me. I am very sorry for your loss, etc

3. I am growing stronger and healthier every day and keep your family in my thoughts and prayers always, etc

4. What a blessing you have given me, I keep your family in my thoughts and prayers, etc

5. Thank you for entrusting me with a living legacy from your loved one, I will treasure the gift, etc

                               SAMPLE LETTERS
   

   Dear Friends,

   I have often thought about what I would say to the people who in a time of grief and despair could think of others and donate a loved one's organs. I received a  ------- I felt that I had to write to you to express my gratitude, it is difficult to find the words to adequately express my feelings. "Thank you" just doesn't seem enough.

   My doctor tells me I was within weeks of total  --------  failure when I received the --------  It was a perfect match and has worked perfectly from the moment it was transplanted into me. I haven't had any trouble, rejection, or sickness since. My health and energy have returned, and I was able to return full time to my job as a ---------   ? 
   months after the operation.

   Besides resuming all my previous activities, I got to enjoy our daughter's wedding etc, . I have also become a  grandmother with my other daughter and I have you to thank for the health to enjoy this as well as life itself again. 

   I thank the Lord each day for you and your decision to donate. I will keep you always in my prayers. May the Lord bless you and your family for your selfless and generous heart.

   Thank you for my health and life!

 

We do not know anything about the donor family but to who ever you are " we are so thankful that you and your family was thoughtful enough to donate for someone else, like my husband/Wife etc, who can now go on in life.  We cannot thank you enough for what you have done.  Your family is in our prayers and everyday we thank GOD for my ------ second chance in life!  We cannot say we know what you are going through in your time of loss, but our heart goes out to you and your family. and we hope that you will receive the blessing knowing that a part of your family is within  ours.  ~we have so much to be thankful for:     My ------ just went to our  grandsons 21st (etc) yesterday and this might not have happened if your family had not made a wonderful decision in life. 
Our prayers are with the donor family, and we pray that GOD gives you the strength and comfort to be strong and just keep those special memories close to your hearts, where they belong.
All my family  have now signed  donor cards.


Dear Donor Family,

"Thank You"
These two words seem so inadequate for the gift of life you have given me, you have given me a second chance of life.
I must offer my deepest sympathy for your loss, mere words from a stranger, but heartfelt just the same. Perhaps.
I knew nothing about the donor only that they must have been kind, caring, compassionate and generous, something they had to have learned from you, their family.
I only hope that I am able to justify the use of this wonderful gift.
Not a day goes by without me thinking of the donor and their family who without I would not have had a second chance to live.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart etc,
A grateful recipient.

Dear Donor,
I have been trying to write this letter for ------ months now, that was when both our worlds were turned upside down and will never be the same.
But somehow, through your grace and generosity I received the most tremendous gift of all.
I received a ------- on that day from someone unknown to me yet more special than I could ever have known. 
To say a mere Thank You on paper seems so insufficient, please know that I think of my donor and pray every day for the gift that I have been given.
I hope that as you read this, you find the smallest bit of comfort in knowing that in your decision to donate has given me my life back again, for which I will be eternally grateful, thank you and god bless you,
A very grateful recipient.

I don’t really know what to say except thank you. I wanted to let you know what a difference your kindness has made to my life.
I am ----- years of age and have  ------ wonderful children, it is wonderful to watch them grow up, a dream i thought I would never see.
I will never be able to tell you all the feelings that I have for you, but i want you to know how grateful I am for the chance you have given me to continue living a normal life.
I would like to thank you for your generosity, words can't begin to describe how grateful I am to you.
I have grown to appreciate life and I do not take it for granted,
A grateful recipient.

I will never be able to tell you all the feelings that i have for your family, but I wanted you to know how very grateful I am.
I would like to thank you for your generosity in giving a part of your loved one to me. 
I am very sorry for your loss.
I am  growing stronger and healthier every day and keep your family in my thoughts and prayers always.
What a blessing you have given me, thank you for entrusting me with a living legacy from your loved one.
I will treasure this gift always.
God bless you,
A very grateful recipient.
 

Dear Family

May I express my condolences on the loss of your loved one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and will be so for the rest of my life.
My name is ------, I am 49 etc and I’m married with two grown up children. I have been ill with liver disease for sometime and was told that a liver transplant was the only option.
Since then my condition deteriorated and I was constantly tired and had difficulty walking. I waited ? months for my transplant and I cannot describe the difference it has made to my life and also to the life of my family. The doctors are very pleased with my progress and my life, which was on hold, has started again.
I am aware that it is purely because of your kindness that I have been given a second chance. Out of your grief has come joy for me and my family. To say thank you seem inadequate but I do so from the bottom of my heart. I often think of you and my donor, and you all will always be in the thoughts and prayers of me and my family.
My Thoughts amd prayers are with you always
A grateful recipient.